Sunday, May 16, 2010

Wet and dreary...

I went to bed at 930 last night, which is rare for me. I was exceptionally tired, after not getting any sleep the previous night. Ron has been acting out lately and I'm ready to strangle him! Ron is my cat, and he's taken to being a bit of an ass of late. For the last week, he'll get up on me when I go to bed and if I so much as twitch or move, he attacks me! Bleeding is not a good thing for me... you should SEE the gash on the back of my hand!

Anyway, I understand that for the most part that's playing, however. When I'm sound asleep and he gets on top of me and does that or he starts taking a bath, waking me up with his movement, I get so irritated. He just wont stop no matter what I do. Push him off, he gets right back up there and does it again, or he'll climb on things and knock things off shelves and the desk, or he'll start "sharpening" his claws on things he's not done it on before which drives me up the wall as well. If he starts spraying next, I'm going to get REALLY ill with him! I'm at my wits end where Ron is concerned. I love him dearly, but somethings got to give with his acting out. The look in his eyes is like he's DARING me to do something about the way he's acting. If anyone has any ideas or suggestions of things I could try to help put an end to his assinine behavior, please let me know! =)

Anywho... When I left the house this morning, it was rainy and dreary out. This kind of weather hurts like you wouldn't believe, but I'm not going to let it get or keep me down. For the first time in a very long time, I can say, Life is GOOD! (At least it's getting better... just have to get the finances in order and all will be perfect)

For the first part of the day, I had NOOOO energy and couldn't stay awake. Now, I feel like I'm supercharged and I'm not sure why, but I like it! =) Had tuna and crackers for lunch, and a walk around the building a few times and am on my third huge 32 oz glass of ice water for the day. What did you do today?

An update on the battle of the bulge:

When I woke up this morning to get ready for work, I noticed something immediately when I stood up. My favorite rings that I always wear all the time were slipping down my fingers... they've not done that before. They come off now, with the slightest movement of my hands... guess it's time to find some sizers.

The next thing I noticed was that my clothes are fitting a bit baggy. YAY ME!! That means my "ploy" to trick the evil weight demons is working! Just how well I've hoodwinked them is still a mystery... lets hope they never find out... or at least that they don't until it's too late and I've whooped them soundly without their even noticing. Mwahahaha! > ;)

On the relationship front:
I've come to realize something... I do a lot of thinking, can you tell? LOL

Anywho... I was terribly heartbroken when Chris (who'd been gungho till now) suddenly screeched on the breaks and said, WHOA THERE! Let's go slow (instead of the full steam ahead approach that HE initiated).

Now, I'm a very firm believer in things happening for a reason, and though I don't give them their due course, the gods DO know what they're doing... on occasion ;) hehe.

Last year, when Chris first wanted us to be together, I was no where on the same planet of ready for us to be anything more than long distance friends with fond memories of HS. Then, after I've had a year to really think about it and realize that I DO have feelings for him and would like to see what the future may hold, he was all for that!! Jumped into the deepend of the pool he did!

Last year, he was SO sure of what he wanted, and I hesitated. This year, now that I am sure of what I want in life, he's hesitating... the roles have been reversed. What if, he's a part of this package deal that I didn't realize I'd signed for? LOL

What I'm saying is, what if I'm meant to fully find myself and get well onto the road of recovery before anything further can happen between he and I... and he's simply the carrot being dangled before me to keep me that much more motivated to reach these goals I've set on myself?

Yeah, I know the speech... don't do this for someone else, do it for yourself, blah blah blah... yeah, I know. I made the commitment to make positive and healthy changes in my life and get on the road of recovery BEFORE the "Chris carrot" was dangled before me... Hmm... yeah that sounds REALLY perverse, but you get my meaning here. I don't want to do this just for him, my PRIMARY reason and person for doing this is ME!! IIIIII come first here!

Chris and I enjoy a lot of the same things. Walking and hiking and going fishing. In my current phsyical condition, I can't do these things for myself let alone with the one I love.

So... what if? =)

I'm thinking that's the "story" and I'm sticking to it cuz it makes me feel that much better about me and what I'm doing for me.... cuz in the long run, it will allow me to do the things with my loved ones that WE enjoy doing as a team. Who knows... I might be able to convince him to try out beachbody! That'd be awesome... =)

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